I'm back! Is it too late to wish you guys a Happy New Year? Nevermind, to people who read my post, I wish this year will brings you happiness, peace of mind, and prosperity. Now, let start my writing. I guess this is my first post for the year 2022.
It is about my previous employment. I am working with insurance company in medical claims as a contract. So obviously, I am dealing with claims. For the first two months, I am fine and happy with my job. I gain new knowledges and I made new friends although they are super busy with their job. I still can manage to spend time with my family on weekend and public holidays. But everything changed. For the following month, all of us need to work harder. We need to achieved our daily target on processing claims, and need to work on the weekend and public holidays. If we couldn't manage to achieve the daily target, warning letter will be released. We also mandatory to work overtime (OT) whenever they ask to. It can be once a month. Usually they gave 1.5 week to manage 10hours mandatory OT. It's really tiring. Mentally and physically exhausted. I once approach my leader about these working overtime, asking why is it become mandatory whereas in my knowledge it suppose to be willingness for the both parties. But I feel dissapoint with her answer where she stated that working overtime is not about willingness, when your boss ask you to come to work, then you have to do it. I couldn't do anything so I just shut my mouth. Although working overtime can make you get some extra money, I couldn't find happiness in me. I am so damn furious, rebelling about this. I feel like they are forcing me to do something which against my will. What makes it nonsense, we only get paid when we do extra claims. For example, if our daily target for processing claims is 260 and per hour is 33. If we manage to clear 293 claims within 9 hours working, we get paid for working overtime. Only if we manage to clear that 293. In managing my task, I usually sacrifice my lunch in order to clear all those claims. And I can see that is the working culture happen in that department. We can't chat, turn on the radio, walking to much during working. In a simplest word, we are much more like 'pekerja buruh dalam aircond', dull and too much stress. I also need to learn to process claim all by myself. The leader just say, "okay, you need to process this." In order to do that, I just buddy with anyone but the knowledge is limited since everyone is also need to achieve their daily target. We need to organised our schedule and apply annual leaves a month earlier. Not to mention about emergency and sick leave, the leader ask to process claims if possible although there is sick certificate shown with the reason they are short of assessor. This is not surprising because a lot of them already resigned. They keep pushing us over limit.
During my experience here, I keep thinking is this the kind of life I want to lead? Can this place be my career growth? To be honest, I don't know what is I am learning there. All I know is, I am growing anger, dissatisfaction and hatred inside me. Question myself why can't I do better. I'm not satisfied with myself. There are times that I cried while doing my tasks. It feel like I lost myself while working there. This is not what I want and this is not healthy guys. You need work balance in your life. You need time to spend with your family, friends and the most important thing, you. You need time for yourself. I think I am not regret working there actually because this is a good experience for me to learn managing my own feelings when it comes to deal with these kind of people.
And now, what I am trying to do is I want to find my old self. It may take times but I pretty sure it is worth it. You just need to trust the process.
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